pill popping contradiction

September 30, 2010 | Comments Off

Mark told me he made a mistake – the Apple Festival isn’t until next week and the Cranberry Festival isn’t until the week after that. That frees up this weekend essentially.

I’m constantly worried about whether or not I’ll be able to do something on any given day, but I *was* looking forward to attempting to go out this weekend. Ugh. We still could, I guess. I need to buy softer washcloths and snow boots (I regret not going out in all that glorious snow last year, and I will not make the same mistake this year, goddamnit).

That being said, Saturday I’m hoping to do a product review for an ultrasound machine I was generously given, and one of their requirements is that I go on video to discuss my situation and so on. I haven’t been feeling well enough to do the video yet, obvs. I haven’t been up to putting makeup on, and I didn’t want Mark touching me (a reason I’ve never been fond of trying massage therapy) with the machine because I’ve been feeling tender. Besides, Mark has to tape me and I didn’t want to bother him with that after working all day. I hate being on camera because I’m so self-conscious, so that part of it sucks for me. I’m planning on covering up my triple chin with a scarf. If Saturday is a go, we’re talking about running over to Charlie Brown’s for a meal. Why wash the makeup right off, right? I guess only time will tell what I can handle. We actually did a test run with the machine tonight, but it was raining like crazy which now upsets the dog in his old age – so he jumped in the middle of the whole thing.

I applied for a job this evening which makes no sense based on what I wrote earlier today. Ha. It sounded like it would be a couple of hours here & there. Of course, that could very well still be too much for me (like I said earlier about work & health), but I’d like to hear more about it before I rule it out as an impossibility. I don’t feel like I’m in any kind of place to actively job hunt of course (sad as that is), but this came across on my Twitter stream and it described what I can do, and I felt like I couldn’t pass it up. I doubt I’ll even hear from them – so many people know HTML and content management system stuff these days anyway. It just felt good to try, I guess.

I’m actually feeling better-ish right now right before bed which is great in the sense that I’m getting a break but not because I wish I felt decent during my awake hours! Maybe tomorrow.

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