more fraying

October 24, 2018 | Comments Off

Mark had his second ultrasound, this one with contrast, yesterday. The radiologist told him that due to its shape and such that it was a small, solid, malignant mass. So he has renal cancer. His doctor wants him to see a urologist to see it’s going to be monitored (?) or removed, so he’s working on scheduling that.

Well, isn’t this some fucked-up bullshit? And because I’m a selfish monster, I’m worried about how I’m going to hold down the fort here while he recovers from surgery. His mom was here to help after his back surgery, but I have no clue if we will have any kind of assistance this time around. Part of me doesn’t even want anyone here because the house is a huge mess after we had to empty out the sunroom. There’s a broken shelf, and things need painted. It is chaotic for me and heightens my anxiety because I’m a big believer that every little thing has its own spot where it belongs. Anyway, I already have a cat with two broken hips who needs therapy. My back pain is worse than ever, of course. I can’t even imagine the amount of work that’s about to be dumped on my shoulders. IIRC, this type of cancer has an 81% survival rate, so I’ll put off looking for a condo for the time being.

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