now with even less passion

August 30, 2012 | Comments Off

I really need to stop inhaling ice cream. I’m out of control.

Last Friday I got to watch my babysitter’s newborn for the first time. I’ll like it much better when the baby has head control. Supporting the neck and head all the time is a hassle. She also rarely stops holding the baby, so the little girl is rather spoiled, as you can imagine. I’ll be watching her with the cleaner here every Friday as she cleans, and then starting soon on Mondays I’ll be watching her by myself. The baby had thrush which I think is gross, so I’m hoping when I see her next that it’s gone.

I hadn’t gotten my hair done in months (like since last April maybe?), so last Saturday I felt like I was ready to try to face the outside world for the first time since Kip died. So I was under the dryer when I saw that the vet had called me. They said his ashes were in. Well, I cried, of course. We went to pick them up, and we both lost it in their parking lot after we had the box in our hands. And around here I am still randomly bursting into tears, like the other night at their wet food snack time. All the cats were in their designated spots, and his spot was so obviously empty. I’m also missing his sounds. I wish I had a video of all of them. We found two (so far) videos of him purring that I previously posted, and I love love love them, of course! Mark just found one the other night where he’s making this super adorable buzz sawing sound that he would make when eating dry food. I really wish I could clearly remember the sound he would make before he’d jump up on the bed. I can faintly recall it, and I’m grateful for that, but I could kick myself for not ever putting it on video. As for donations, we donated $100 towards a local black cat’s medical expenses, and we also bought 50 of these stretch and scratchers to take to a local shelter. They look like they’d be really amazing, and I hope they get here by the weekend so we can donate them ASAP.

Here’s that super cute video where Kip is buzz sawing through his food:

Speaking of pets, we really need to sit down soon and update the wording on our other pet pages. Also, the other night Eva was just amazing. She was running from one window to the next while making this sound I hadn’t heard her make since she had a UTI. Mark & I didn’t see anything for awhile, but she was insistent. Turns out there was a mouse in the yard. She enjoyed us singing her praises and calling her our little huntress. And we took Spenser to the emergency vet yesterday. He was really restless all afternoon. When I finally sat down and looked at him, I noticed his breathing was a little off with some shaking involved. Mark came home from work early, and Spenser didn’t greet him or do much of anything. He was unresponsive for a bit, so much so that Mark carried him to the car. He climbed immediately into my lap as he does when I sit in the back with him, and he soon was his old self. They ran a gazillion tests. They said his breathing was a little shallow but nothing else was detected. Before we left the house, I had seriously thought that the tumor in his liver had burst and that we were going to have to put him to sleep. Thankfully it was mostly a false alarm. They think maybe what I saw was him having a painful reaction to what’s going on with his back legs. I guess I should have just given him one of his pain pills. So we left there $470 poorer and with muscle relaxers to add to his scrip collection.

And as for my prescriptions, it took me four days of phone tag to get my Gabapentin scrip fixed. I made a zillion calls to the pharmacy and to my pain management doctor to get it all straightened out. I hate dealing with unnecessary stupid shit like this, especially when my nerves are already frayed. As for my back pain, it’s been more of the same with okay days and horrible days. I’ve been wanting to rip my hair out since Monday because I hurt so much and I just can’t get comfortable for more than two seconds. I’m back to thinking that I’d really like to go someplace nice for our 15th wedding anniversary. Of course the financial implications are there (I’d rather save the cash so we can get into a nice one-story sooner rather than later), but the physical ones are even more prominent and worrisome (I’d want to at least enjoy five minutes of it without wanting to throw myself off a roof).

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