seasonal shift

September 29, 2011 | Comments Off

Last night I was up until 2:00am catching up on the DVR & today I’m a zombie.

My favorite time of year is approaching fast! I’m so excited that it’s going to be in the fifties this weekend! Bring on the cold weather, mother nature! It’s getting darker outside earlier which I love, and I’ve already spent lots of time thinking about baking! If my back weren’t such a huge piece of shit, I’d have a batch of oatmeal cookies already sitting in front of my fat face. The recipe on the back of the oatmeal container looks super easy. If I can get Mark to peel the apples, I’d like to make some Jewish apple cake this weekend. Also, I’d like to get some apples for those two little deer we have roaming the woods behind our house.

Anyway, I love fleece, sweaters, socks, heavy blankets, snow, hot chocolate, and so on! Sigh! Honestly, I hope we get three billion blizzards. I love winter so much! I miss the fireplace we had at our last house. Whenever I get into my future one-story, that is a definite must-have feature. Speaking of winter, this is the year that we won’t be decorating every inch like crazy people. Mark hates all the work involved (shocking) in decorating for Christmas, so we’ve agreed to put everything out every other year. I guess we will just put up a tree & put out a few pillows on the second floor. I’m not even that sad about not decorating because I’m just not a fan of this house or living here. I’d rather save my snowman collection for a home, not a house.

Speaking of Christmas, I’ve already started singing holiday songs. See, all my pets have nicknames. Kip goes by Doods & Doodles. Now that during the day he wears a collar that has a little bell on it, we’ve started calling him Jingle Doods. As a result, that has me singing parts of Jingle Bells with Doods inserted where bells should be!

Since the ice cream tour is over, I am trying to convince Mark that we should do a donut tour on Saturdays. How fun would it be to grab a coffee & hit up local bakeries? He says he prefers other pastries, so I’m trying to get him to agree to go by saying he can get whatever he wants while I try a donut. I’m not sure he’s going to really want to do this with me, though. With my shitty back, of course, I can’t guarantee I’ll even be in the mood or physically able to leave the house every Saturday for it anyway.

Since I’m talking about pain, the past two days had been tolerable. Today is a completely different story. I want to rip my back out with my bare hands. It’s insanity to be expected to deal with this day in & day out. I’m eager to hear what the hot doctor has to say at my next appointment. Right now with the way I’m feeling, I think I’d be okay with them waking me up mid-procedure if it’ll mean relief, temporary or whatever. For the interim, I spoke with my pain management pill provider & she wrote out the scrip for a higher dosage of Kadian. Mark needs to exchange my current scrip for this one & then it goes to the pharmacy early next week. I’d like to work out, work, foster, volunteer, and not live in a fog. Someday?

Mark has been grumpy the past two nights which makes me nervous. He was being such a jackass that I kicked him out of the bedroom last night. Of course, he thinks I was being a bitch & that our not getting along was all my fault. Mmm hmm. I won’t be his emotional punching bag this season. This time last year was horrid. If I don’t see a change, I’ll start googling to find stuff that’ll help with seasonal affective disorder. Hell, maybe I’ll even be the one to push for marriage counseling again if it could help him be a normal human being in the fall & winter.

Lastly, I spoke to our old vet’s office Monday & today. They’re saying that they don’t even think Spenser has Cushings because he doesn’t display all the symptoms, even though he does have some & has responded positively to the medication for it for years. They think more testing should be done to accurately determine that. They brought up that Spenser had pneumonia before, that perhaps he has an inclination for it, and that we should get that looked into too. He had aspiration pneumonia two years ago due to an incident with a rawhide, and we’ve since banned that kind from our house. They’ve consulted with a lot of professionals & they say that they still would prescribe Atopica (the allergy med) to him. I asked our new vet, the mobile vet we will see for the first time here in our house in a month, what she thought. She personally wouldn’t prescribe it to a dog that has other issues; in fact, she doesn’t use it at all since it’s an immunosuppressive drug. She said for court that I’d need to have an internal medicine specialist there, not a regular vet. She then gave me the name of two to contact to see what their opinion on the issue is. I feel like our old vet has all these connections that I don’t have. Everything they said to me that dismissed the voicemail I have ended up making sense to me in a way. I can’t even explain it. In court it would be easy for them to say that there’s no connection even though in my heart I know there is. It’s the difference between them knowing ahead of time if pneumonia could have resulted or not. Though the vet’s message made it sound like an obvious error was made, all their “evidence” makes it seem like it couldn’t have been prevented because there was no way of 100% knowing. I’m not sure I’m making sense here. I just now feel like I’ll be up against these experts with only a voicemail. I don’t know. I’ll email the specialists my new vet suggested, but if they are apprehensive in the least, I think I’m just going to drop it. If I had Mark’s support, I wouldn’t feel so alone in this. He agrees with me but has no desire to pursue it. They’re going to bring up the Cushings issue which is bullshit & the fact that he had pneumonia before. I obviously still feel like they were in the wrong & that they suck, so I’m frustrated. And regarding Spenser, we plan on (unless there’s an improvement) asking our new vet to increase his Cushings med because he’s been doing a lot of extra water drinking (emptying out bowls) ever since he was on those meds for pneumonia. As a result, he’s peeing all the time & has had a few accidents on blankets lately.

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