five poppy seed bagels

March 24, 2019 | Comments Off

Goddamn. At my pain management appointment this week, a glitch occurred. It’s something I’m rather nervous about. I get drug tested at every other visit, and I gave a urine sample when I was there. My insurance will only cover one test per year, and I get tested a lot more often than that. The office accommodates this by doing in-house testing the rest of the time. This was one of those times. The test, though, showed that I had morphine in my system. They checked it twice at my request. This means it’ll now get sent away anyway for the official testing. But morphine? I mean, I’ve been on morphine before, and it didn’t work. Years ago I had metabolic testing done for opiate breakdowns. Basically they got info from my body about what drugs should work for me and in what amounts. Morphine didn’t make the cut. I’ve been on tons of shit, but only oxycodone helps me. Weirdly enough, OxyContin doesn’t do anything for me. But, anyway, I’m really worried that I might not get my medication at my next visit because of this. They’re not going to prescribe stuff to someone who it seems is taking something they shouldn’t. My doctor asked me if I had cold medicine recently or if I had eaten five poppy seed bagels. I couldn’t think of anything that could have checked that box. On the way home, Mark remembered one thing that was different since my last visit: my local pharmacy used a different manufacturer for my oxycodone. They’ve always been tiny blue pills to me, but this time I got larger white pills. I even looked them up online to make sure they were still oxycodone. But, I mean, nobody is going to mix those two together in a pill, right? No. So what if the official test inexplicably comes back and says the same as the unofficial? I will be royally fucked.

Mark has been very chipper lately. He is quite close to paying off all the bills and credit card debt, so it’ll just be mortgage and regular bills going forward in the very, very near future. This definitely contributes to his newfound happiness, as well as the fact that it’s now spring and he’s playing baseball, umpiring, and riding his bike once again! While I dislike warmer weather in general, I like that he’s doing his thing. It’s good for him. And this time of year always makes things easier on me, as he’s always doing stuff now and no longer looking for me to be his entertainment committee. Speaking of Mark, he had those two tests done for the weird emphysema diagnosis that appeared on some scans. Now we just wait for those results. Hopefully his tests come back in the same manner in which my test does too – negative!

As you can see from the videos in previous posts, I’m making good progress with our deer visitors. They have been coming every evening at dusk, except for last night when they came a little earlier. Every night I’ve been going out with them – and getting closer to them each time. I started out right outside the front door, and now I’m almost off the long-ish porch and on the grass with them. As for kitty visitors, we still have Nabi and Sam’s Twin as the regulars. Moo Kitty has been around a lot lately. Casper/Sugar has stopped showing up; it’s been over a month since he’s been here, and all I can do is hope he’s okay. And a new one has shown up at night for the past two weeks now. He is all black and has white paws, a white chest, and white whiskers. He’s very fluffy and large, and this is why we are calling this kitty a boy. While I think it’s a girl, Mark thinks all big cats are always male. While that’s usually true, there are hefty girl cats out there! But I am just going with it. In fact, I even let him name this one. He chose Mr. Claus because the cat’s beard reminds him of Santa, and it’s now been shortened to MC.

Another thing. I know I’ve mentioned before that I sometimes feel a weirdness in my arms, like a heavy, tingly tension. That’s the fucking anxiety! I can’t believe that – for years and years and years – I didn’t understand what was happening.

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