in wtf news

May 13, 2018 | Comments Off

Last week we asked our landscaper to put red geraniums in our various flower pots after he got done mulching and doing winter cleanup stuff. So he read Mark’s text incorrectly and brought over red, white, and pink geraniums. In the pots in the back of the house, he put all three colors in each one, and it was a hideous combination. On the front porch, he filled one pot with all red and the one right near it with pink and white. Dude, WTF. Mark thought I was exaggerating (how unusual to think that of me) over text about how bad it all looked, but he totally was in “dude, wtf” mode too after he saw it all in person. It all got fixed two days later, but still.

Yesterday Mark went to get me some booze. I rarely ever drink, but I’m low on pain pills this month, so I needed the extra tlc. So he gets me this 4-pack of wine coolers. Yes, I still drink wine coolers just like I did in my early twenties because I am classy like that. The checkout guy behind a bulletproof window took them out of the 4-pack and put them individually into a bag. After paying and getting the bag, Mark notices that there are only three freaking bottles in it. The checkout guy pretends that he didn’t just try to hide the fourth in his office area, and he comes all the way out and grabs a single one from another 4-pack in the cooler. I guess he was counting on Mark not looking inside his bag. I wonder how often he tries that shit. Shady, shady.

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