mark my words

April 27, 2018 | Comments Off

Mark has been umpiring for the past few years. He started doing it in New Jersey and is now doing it here in Pennsylvania. It was like two weeks or so ago when he worked with a really old guy; he must have been around 88 years-old. The game was at the top of a hill, and Mark needed to grab his arm to help him up it. Anyway, Mark said this guy had one of the best strike zones he has ever seen, so he has still got it! There was an umpire meeting a week ago, and this guy asked to speak in front of everyone. He told them all that Mark was one of the best umpires he had ever seen. So kudos to Mark. But now Mark is being an umpiring dumbass. He’s on day three of on-again/off-again migraines combined with alternating chills and sweats. He has a game tonight. He’s resting on the couch right now, and it’s very cold and damp outside. He said he’s not going to cancel because they’re having difficulty finding umpires to fill games. Funny how he tells me no all the goddamned time but yet feels so guilty saying no to anyone else. He’s already said he’s not going to his baseball game on Sunday, so that’s a step in the right direction. But he has to umpire tonight and tomorrow. I just can’t with him.

me: if you end up in the hospital because of your stupidity, I am not a) driving you there or b) coming to visit you

mark: I didn’t think you would

UPDATE: it’s a miracle! He actually cancelled tonight’s game. He’s shivering on the couch right now, so it’s a goddamned good thing.

UPDATE 2: he even went to the doctor! They just gave him stronger headache medication and didn’t address his chills and sweats. So, ummm, yeah.

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