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October 8, 2014 | Comments Off

My chronic pain has been kicking my ass for days now. Sheesh. It’s never a walk in the park, but some days are much more intense than others, and I’m in the midst of some of those days right now. It started late Friday night/early Saturday morning when the pain woke me up out of my sleep. That’s never a good thing. Then a few hours later I awoke to find Lulu sleeping on my legs which is something she rarely, thankfully, does. That certainly didn’t help me out any, as you can imagine. And at night I take Trazadone to help me sleep, but it’s as if that’s not kicking in fully lately, and I’m just up and hurting unnecessarily longer. I guess I need to start taking two of those if that trend keeps up. My pain pills aren’t working on days like these either which really sucks. So, yeah, I’m struggling.

The other night just as I was about to fall asleep, Basia decided she wanted to play all night long. My sound machine was just out of my reach, so I heard her each of the times she decided to chirp and play. The other three kitties were tucked into bed all around me and were happily snoozing – and I was jealous.

Two nights ago we watched videos of our passed pets, and it really is a fantastic thing to have these photos and videos like we do. It’s just wonderful. What’s not wonderful is how terribly sad I am. I miss them all so much, and I cry everyday. I imagine I always will. Speaking of, last year we reviewed several Halloween costumes, and this year we were approached by the same company to review some more. Mark wanted me to decline because he’s too sad to do it without Spenser. Besides, I’m not sure if they were even aware that we lost our dog model. If they want just cats reviewing their costumes, maybe we can work together next year. And, surprisingly, Mark ended up buying a pumpkin dress for our girl kitties and a pumpkin shirt that lights up for our boy kitties! At the same time, though, it makes me sad because we used to always tell Eva she had a pumpkin in her belly because she had such a big tummy.

When I really hurt like this, I again think about phasing out product reviews and only updating this site every other week if at all. Everything but watching tv seems highly overwhelming.

I’ve noticed that since Spenser died that I have no reason to go to the first floor anymore unless I decide to straighten up after the cleaner leaves each week, though I’m less motivated to do even that these days. I only went down there to put him outside to potty and then to carry him back upstairs. He’d put his cute front paws on the first step, and I’d kiss both of his ears before picking him up. That was our little routine.

So a few weeks ago Mark hurt his back after he pitched for four innings. He couldn’t just stick with being an umpire. He had to get back in the game, and he’s been paying the price ever since. He claims he knows his limits now and will only pitch for so many innings and run so far and so on. Sigh. Last year he really, really hurt himself and got that shitty diagnosis, but he thought four innings was taking it slow enough. Why can’t he just stick to umpiring and stop tempting fate? He loves that stupid game so much. Ugh.

And I decided to stop babysitting entirely. Though we had plans last weekend to take her to this kid’s fall festival thing, I decided I didn’t want to pay the price for it for two days afterwards with so much pain, no matter how badly my insides were screaming baby! So I gave her mom all the toys we had for her here and also got rid of all the other stuff we no longer had use for, like the changing table and bumbo. Giving away things for free on Craigslist was a ridiculous hassle. People would email and then not reply back or reply a bunch, stop, and then be surprised when I ended up giving the stuff away to someone else.

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