it girl interrupted

July 30, 2013 | Comments Off

Spenser went to his acupuncturist yesterday. He was starting to have trouble with the stairs again, so he was definitely due for a visit. With him being at the emergency hospital and then recovering, we didn’t keep to his schedule. But now that he’s 100% completely back to his old self again (yay!), we are getting him back on track with that now too.

This past Saturday we went back to the cat and dog retirement homes (and their attached shelters) that we previously visited, and we brought donations with us. There will be a full post on that soon. I didn’t sob this time, but I still desperately wanted to take a few cats home with me, especially the little tortie girl who practically jumped into my arms when I walked past her. Do you know how hard it is to say no to that? Ugh! But my own little tortie girl is a jealous one, and I think she’d claw me to death in my sleep. On Sunday we babysat the cleaner’s baby. She’s quite the clingy handful. If I leave her with Mark or alone for a second, she cries and cries. I can’t wait until she’s a little more talkative because her little voice is so adorable! She can stand now for short spurts which is so cute to see. Of course, I was already in pain after going out Saturday, so watching her the very next day only made things worse for my back. I feel like a shell of my former self. Doing these small activities shouldn’t sideline me like this. But as I’m typing this out, I’m hurting so much that I just want to jump off a roof. Someone told me I was a strong woman to be able to go through this day in and day out. Honestly, I feel like a weak person and a failure. Anyway, I stupidly agreed to watch her this coming weekend (all weekend!) while her mom goes to the shore to clean. Now I’m obviously regretting saying yes. Mark’s baseball season is over, so he will be around to help (the only way I could say yes). There’s a chance the shore family might not go, and now I’m really hoping that’s the case. I could back out, of course, but I love being around babies – if only I just didn’t hurt so much afterwards! At least she’s still at the age where she is content to sit in bed with me while she plays. Sure, the exploring age is fun and I want to see it, but I’ll never physically be able to handle it. Anyway, my parents may come up next weekend to see Spenser and to bring the ladder we still need to borrow. I’m hoping it’ll be painless, without my mom’s judgements (that could come right then or later in email) that I’m fatter now and that I don’t do enough or as much as she does even though she has pain issues too. I mean, I’m well aware of what she thinks of me, but I can only hope yet again that she’ll be kind this time around. I think it might be a year since I last saw them. Lather, rinse, and repeat. And I wonder if she’ll comment on my permanent makeup stuff, which I now just loooove after my latest touch-up.

Hmm. What else? I’m trying not to bash Mark’s skull in. We were doing great with all this teamwork we had going on during Spenser’s latest health crisis. Now he’s back to not listening to me which makes me feel unheard and not respected. And since playing baseball is over at least until fall ball starts, he’s back to being obsessed with the next sport on his lineup – tv baseball. It’s all so annoying and frustrating. I may not be into things he likes and vice versa, but I’m willing to try to find things that we both can enjoy. I think he is too because he just suggested that we go to a drive-in movie theater where I can lay down. Anyway, I’m still obsessed with Gossip Girl and have started rewatching the series from season one. To sort of balance that kind of thing out, I gave up Mad Men so he can watch that by himself since I found it to be too boring and depressing. But together we just started watching Breaking Bad. Speaking of tv stuff, we finally got the newest DVR that other counties around us have had for ages now. The thing is, this one has so much content smashed onto such a small screen that I can’t read it for shit, and I already was having issues with seeing the other screen. Mark is going to swap the DVR in his man cave for this one so I can sort of use it again. I will say that the app for it is pretty impressive and that I love being able to set up recordings from it.

Lastly, today I went to see my pain management doctor. She didn’t increase the methadone as I had expected her to. Instead she wants to add topamax into my daily mix, so I’m starting that at a low dosage at first to see how my body reacts to it. When we were at their little pharmacy getting my methadone and oxycodone, I asked about the topamax because I thought she had called it in there instead of at cvs where my cymbalta and trazadone go. So they looked for but couldn’t find the scrip, and I apologized, saying that I must have heard my doctor incorrectly. As we were leaving, the jackass pharmacist actually told us to get all of our scrips filled at cvs from now on. I couldn’t believe it! Was his ego hurt because we use cvs too? I didn’t let his remark really settle in until we got to the car because I was focused on seeing my doctor again. I asked her where she sent that scrip to, and she confirmed that she had sent it to them. So now he’s not only rude but also incompetent (which I already knew from when he miscounted the pills from one of my scrips not long ago). Ugh. I had a WWBWD (what would Blair Waldorf do) moment in the car because I was so angry that he spoke that way to us. The only reason we started using them in the first place was because we couldn’t find my oxycodone at any of our local pharmacies. I guess I’ll start calling around to a local cvs or two again next month when it’s refill time because now I’m paranoid that he’ll not give me my correct dosage or whatever.

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