showstopper, showstopper

February 25, 2013 | Comments Off

The skinny jeans I bought to wear with my new UGGs ended up being too long, and I cut the tags off so now they can’t even go back. I am a big ball of dumb. I am unable to make any of my pants look right in them, and I find it incredibly difficult to shove my feet into them without hurting my back. I’ve bought like three billion things to wear with them, and that’s all been for nothing apparently. I’m going to try to wear them with my grey dress the next time we go out to eat or whatever, but who the hell knows if that’s going to end up another dressing disaster or not. I did just buy a $55 cute cat shirt from the Gap that I got for $10.72 total with all my points, codes, and free shipping. I want to wear it to this event thing in May, so I hope it looks okay. Buying clothes online isn’t going as well for me as it used to, and I wish it would because it’s easier on my back to just throw things into an imaginary cart.

I was hurting too much to go to yet another of Spenser’s acupuncture appointments, and I absolutely regret that a million times over because he had a male vet tech this time. He doesn’t like men other than Mark, and Mark told me he was incredibly anxious over it all. Speaking of my furbabies, we babysat the other day, and the baby spent a bunch of time near our Eva, who was such a good girl when the baby fussed with her & her tail. She pushed her head into the baby’s hand too. It was very adorable! Now Mark has changed his mind about where the pets should go if we die before they do, and I’m incredibly frustrated by that. Now he wants to make a list of the top five people they should go to (in case the first is unable, then they’ll go to the second), but we are such loners that we don’t even have those kinds of options. So WTF?! He doesn’t want this to drag on & wants decisions to be made in writing soon, but he isn’t really even articulating what he now thinks is wrong with our last idea.

My mom sent me an email last week and told me that the one-story house we briefly considered moving into & renovating (one of their properties, and my first house as a baby) is now going to be sold. The renters are moving away, and my dad no longer wants to deal with renting it & has decided to sell it. She asked if we (or me solo) wanted to reconsider living there first. No. It’s not convenient for us or me. I’ve always been told that this house is technically mine. In their will, it goes to me and I can sell it then. What I don’t understand is why I have to wait twenty or thirty or however many years before I’m able to benefit from that house, especially if they’re getting rid of it now. Because I won’t do what they think is best, they just won’t consider that now. We could so, so use it now to get into a one-story closer to Mark’s job. If fairness is an issue, they could simply split the sale between me & my brother. It sucks that none of this is going to happen when I could use it the most, just because they don’t agree with things we’ve done or where we should live.

I had my second home acupressure session last week. This time the pain lessened for about sixteen hours (though I was asleep for most of that). Also, it was a rougher session, both physically & emotionally. My neck has just now stopped hurting, and it took two days for my legs & feet to stop as well. I wasn’t a fan, and I almost asked her to leave at two different times. She delved into the emotional side of things, determining that I feel a lack of love based on how my body was behaving. Though Mark & I both haven’t been angels during the course of our relationship, I don’t think that any of that is causing my pain issues. While I may be waiting for what I think is the inevitable other shoe to drop, I just don’t believe it’s the root of everything because I’m really not all that consumed by it. I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong? I do believe that physical & emotional stuff can be entwined, but I am just not believing that this is the defining factor in this whole thing. I think I’ll give it one more try once I’m no longer annoyed and frustrated by this last experience. I told her the pain had come back, and this was her reply: “THE GOOD PART IS THE PAIN TOOK LONGER TO COME BACK…THAT IS PROGRESS…JUST WAIT AND SEE IF IT LINGERS AROUND OR IF IT GOES AWAY AGAIN…KEEP ME INFORMED…IT SHOULD BE REDUCING AND GETTING BETTER WITH TIME…LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.” But it hasn’t reduced any after that initial sixteen hours. In fact, Friday’s pain was so intense that I took sleeping pills during the middle of the day to escape feeling it.

Hmmm. What else? I’m still walking mostly daily on the treadmill, but I’ve been slacking on sweepstaking. I’m considering closing my site down or taking a hiatus because I don’t feel like I say anything worthwhile. I had another duh moment when I just now finally started watching tv on my iPad. I have such blurry vision from all the gazillion pills I take, and now I’m amazed at how clear & close everything is. I love those ladder shelves, so we replaced the bookshelf in Mark’s man cave with one. We saw a whole office setup there that we liked and want to use in our next house whenever it is that we finally do move. I had to call the new doctor & remind them to send me my food allergy testing kit, but it’s finally here! I think I’m going to do all that’s involved (pricking fingers) this week. It’ll be interesting to see if any of that is affecting my lower back pain. Lastly, I went in for my second round of permanent makeup for my eyebrows. I took one Xanax and had a much easier time with it! I go in for my eyeliner touch-up in two weeks, and I just can’t wait to be done with the whole thing! After I get my haircut, I plan on posting before & after pictures of the permanent makeup process. And I want to replace the photo of myself that I use everywhere with a new one, so fingers crossed. It’s best to take photos between days 8-14 of the period cycle, so I definitely need to keep that in mind.

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