righting wrongs

December 5, 2012 | Comments Off

Friday I had a lot of pain. I’d say it was the third worst day I’ve ever had. I took stuff to knock me out and thankfully woke up a bit better. I mean, it was just horrid. It’s been overall just awful lately and even has limited my ability to babysit. I thought for sure the little baby I sometimes watch was going to forget me, but she didn’t scream or fuss when she finally saw me again. That came later since she’s teething. When she would focus on me, she’d start screaming all over again. That sure helped my self-esteem. And when they were leaving I heard a thud and thought the cleaner had dropped something. As it turned out, it was massive amounts of baby barf all over my sunroom’s rug and ottoman. That aside, it’s still upsetting to think that I am physically unable to foster. I wonder when I’m going to get past that.

I’m down to one product review left to do that’s here, one that’s coming from Africa but isn’t here yet, and two baby reviews that I’m waiting for her to grow into. Speaking of, I ordered new business cards for future pet shows I may want to go to in an attempt to round up products for product reviews I may want to start back up doing after my break. I also bought a shit-ton amount of loot for the cats for Christmas. Mark is in charge of Spenser’s gifts and all pet treats. Don’t tell him, but he said I could spend $100 and I may have stood helplessly by as Santa got $230 worth of stuff instead. I should link to what I bought. Speaking of shopping, my wishlist has been cleaned up, if anyone is interested in buying me or my furbabies anything for the holidays!

Speaking of money and finance stuff, I know I agreed to curb the spending, and I’ll get to it, but we aren’t moving into that one-story any time soon with the market the way it is. We will never get what we have to out of this house in this lousy housing market! For instance, we’ve been watching what’s been going on with our last house ever since it went back on the market. We bought it for $175,000 and sold it for $265,000. It went back on the market for $300,000 and finally just sold for $189,000! That’s crazy sad. Even though the one-story move is not happening in the near future, I’d like to start looking at neighborhoods, whether still in southern New Jersey or across the bridge in Pennsylvania. Mark isn’t into that, but I don’t see how doing that could be anything but helpful so we don’t end up in the same situation. Also, once we decide on a home, is it possible to come back at night with a blacklight? I want to make sure it hasn’t been peed all over by cats and/or unattached adopted kids. Speaking of lights, our neighbor seems to have ignored my request to get the front lights fixed. It’s not right that we pay to water this bitch’s grass yet she can’t be bothered to do something that would make both of our houses safer.

Saturday I was able to get out of the house and get all of my errands accomplished! I had a bloodwork tech with a sense of humor which I find goes a long way in that type of situation. I always tell them that I can’t look while they’re drawing the blood, and this one said as long as she does then we’re okay. Ha! When I first sat down to do the whole sign-in process, my clerk wanted to move me to the next station over until she took one look at me and asked if I was in pain. Sigh. So much for all the time I spent getting ready! It apparently was wasted if I looked that bad. My hair appointment went mostly well. My stylist is down to using only one product as I request, but now I need him to just use less of it. We’re getting there. And I just loooove the color! Also, he complimented me on how curly my hair was when I walked in before I even had anything done! What sucked was that my tan cords weren’t covered all the way and a drop of hair color fell onto them. I almost died, but thankfully they were fine after some stain spray and a wash. Oh, and after I came home I found a short gray hair that needed pulled. I’m glad I didn’t just spend $120 on covering them or anything! Another stop was at Sephora. I’m considering getting permanent makeup put on my eyebrows, but first I wanted to try some Anastasia products that I had read good things about. The person helping me vetoed them and took out some eye pencil, and I vetoed the end result. The woman who also cuts my hair does work for clients with hair loss, and she knows of a permanent makeup artist who works with cancer patients. I called her after getting her number Saturday, and it turns out that she studied at the place I first called and considered going to. But she has weeknight and Saturday hours, so I’ll be sticking with her. She answered all of my questions well, so I’ll most likely be doing that in about two months, once my tan is dark enough. Tanning can lighten brow work, so I want to get to the point where I only need to go once a week for maintenance first. We also stopped at Lush because an online friend of mine has raved about them forever now, and I didn’t walk out of there empty-handed. I found some body lotion without a strong scent that makes my skin ridiculously soft, so yay! By the end of all the day’s errands, I was hurting so much, of course. I could barely walk out of the mall. Even right when we got there I had rude people stepping on the backs of my new Keds because I guess I wasn’t walking fast enough for them. I may or may not have lost my mind and yelled that I wished these assholes would stop stepping on my goddamned feet. Do I need a sign that says I’m in pain and stamp it on my back every time I leave the house? You know how when you’re going from your car to a store and people in cars wave you across? Well, Mark zooms right across the parking lot while I take a lot longer. I actually worry that these people will think I’m just a fat, lazy asshole who is keeping them waiting since I don’t look like the typical disabled person. Anyway, because I just mentioned Mark’s name, I want to also say that he and I are still getting along so well. It’s nice when I don’t want to stab him.

And speaking of, I had my pain management appointment the other day. The last time I was there their scale scared me straight (even before going to see the new doctor). Well, in about 1.5 months, I’ve lost 11 pounds based on their scale! Yay! My cleaner even commented on my weight loss without prompting, and I got to announce just how much I’ve lost. I have a lot more to go, and I hope I don’t plateau any time soon. As for the appointment, I first saw a student doctor again, but this one was funny so it wasn’t so bad. I had to get blood drawn there because my doctor wanted to check my liver numbers yet again. She agreed that I could come off some meds, so I’m tapering off of OxyContin, Gabapentin, and Tizanidine. She commented that she isn’t going to just give me Oxycodone if I’m also not on a long-acting drug too. I don’t know if that means I’ll have to part ways with her soon or what. She said that for sure next month she’s going to be giving me 120 pills instead of 150 which really upsets me. She already lowered the dosage from 30mg to 20mg a couple of months ago, and this is the only thing that sort of gives me any kind of relief. It’s very scary for me to think about having less of it. I also accidentally dropped one of them down the sink yesterday morning. Yikes. Since pain relief obviously isn’t on the horizon for me, I am trying to focus on changing what I can. That being said, between getting my toes done, getting my hair cut and highlighted, waxing, tanning, whitening my teeth, and eating differently, I’m starting to look less like a hag. It helps my emotions which I need since I’m consistently in the dumps about my lower back pain. Vanity aside, I think I’m reverting back to my teen years because I decided that the next show I want to watch is Laguna Beach! It’s on Hulu so Mark put it in the queue for me.

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