Mark made us pancakes, and I was crying when I headed downstairs to eat, upset over how we’d get all the cats out if there were a fire. I don’t even know where that came from. Then I tried to suck it up and be a goddamned adult, but I guess maturity and I were meant to be at odds today.

I showered, and the only thing I had to wear was something fit for cooler weather. I’m serious. I have tons of t-shirts I wear as pajama tops, and they are all wrinkled with holes from the cats. Okay, not all of them have holes, but none of the decent ones would match my yellow & blue sneakers. So I had a meltdown of epic proportions. I have “nice” clothes, sure, but I have to wear sneakers because of my back, and the “nice” clothes go with snazzier shoes. And my toes need done, so I couldn’t wear flip-flops. Ugh. I don’t even know what I possibly could have worn the last time we went someplace other than physical therapy.

Then Mark & I went for a walk and I was still grumpy and cranky – and my back was hurting so I was frustrated by that too – and he asked if I wanted to hold hands. I ruined our whole day and couldn’t get past my own insanity, and he was being sweet. Sure, he got semi-upset with me earlier for being a nutcase, but he got past it and was amazing.

So I came back up here, sulked, laid on the heating pad, and watched Toddlers & Tiaras and Gilmore Girls. And then we went shopping online at Old Navy (I got like six shirts) and Kohls (I got a pair of Skecher mule sneakers that will match more of my stuff).

Now I’m feeling a bit better. My back has settled down some, and we’re getting ready to watch Bad Girls Club and The Big C.

Mark got home early, and then I put him right to work (photo below) on putting up a new mobile theme for my website. It took A LOT longer than expected. And then I stepped in, and Pacey helped me as I fiddled with the settings (photo below as well).

If you’re viewing this from your mobile phone, let me know what you think! If there are any problems/issues, please let me know asap! Muchas gracias!

Now it’s time to watch the Jersey Shore After Show and keep on resting.

I woke up today feeling more than miserable. One of these days when I wake up the back pain has to be gone, right? There’s like nothing left back there after the surgery. Sometimes I wonder if this is somehow semi-psychological, even though that was already ruled out.

So I woke up in pain – again – which led to frustration which led to tears. When I showered, I sobbed two more times. Ugh. I want a break. I want my life back. I want five years to go by and for me to not even be able to remember what all this felt like.

I spent most of the day watching tv (shocking), laying with ice, and perusing Twitter. Then Mark came home and took me to therapy. My physical therapist said he talked to the other doctor at Atlantic Spinal Care and got a more detailed idea of what to do with me from him.

I started with heat which felt great. See, I was told to avoid that and stick to ice for the first two weeks. Next was an ultrasound which was fine. But when it came time for me to roll over, I couldn’t do it for a couple of minutes because I hurt so much. Ugh. Then I did light stretches which I didn’t think I was supposed to start doing just yet, but whatever. He wanted me to use the treadmill and ice, but I said I could do that stuff at home, which I did. I felt miserable leaving there which basically matched how I felt all day. Oh, and he said I could start using my TENS Unit again, just not on the swollen area.

So we came home, and Mark rubbed me (that felt more than amazing) during Big Brother. Then we watched Jersey Shore and here I am.

I can only hope that I get some sort of break tomorrow and that the pain starts letting up. I can say that the hip and leg pain I had are now gone, but they were never things I had to deal with every day for the past three years anyway – they popped up post-surgery. The remaining back pain can suck it.

Also on the horizon will be an even cuter mobile layout. Mark has been playing with some for his mortgage blog, so a new one should appear here soon too.

And, this goes without saying, but I need his help with these things because I’m semi-stupid and can’t sit up at the pc for long periods of time.

If anyone is being prompted for a Twitter login, can you let me know? Mark is getting a weird popup when at work, but I’m not here – and I checked my site on three different browsers. I didn’t make any changes to the Twitter widget, so this makes no sense to me!

I did walk a 1/2 mile today in the afternoon when I felt like my body was calming down, which is amazing since I’ve been in too much pain to go that far in three years. But now I’m back on the bed with ice on me, and I’m hurting & waiting for the muscle relaxers to kick in.

Today went by so slowly that it was almost unreal. I cleared off the dvr (Flipping Out, Ghost Hunters, last night’s Teen Mom that I didn’t get to) which always makes me happy and gives me a sense of accomplishment (shut up).

Mark has a loooong weekend coming up, and I hope I’m physically able to get the hell out of this bed and go do something fun with him. Let’s place bets.

Anyway, Mark went there the other day to get me another cinnamon-sugar pretzel, but it was so hard that I could have chipped a tooth on the damned thing. Given that I’m a complainer by nature, I bitched on their corporate Twitter and Facebook.

Well, one of the owners of the location near me contacted me via Facebook and offered me a replacement pretzel, which was great. When Mark went to get it for me today, she ended up giving us two cinnamon-sugars and three of the small regular ones for free. How awesome, yes?

Yay for good customer service! And how fab is social media?

See?

Also, yesterday I had my first physical therapy appointment since the surgery. I’ve been to this place before (years ago) for my back too – they were the ones who gave me my home exercise program.

Earlier in the day I did the most sitting I’ve done in a long time – about an hour – and then I walked 1/4 mile. And then BAM. I couldn’t even get up and down without pain. Prior to surgery, whenever I overdid something, I felt stiffness. I’d much rather go back to that than the pain.

Anyway, that made getting up & down and turning on the therapy table very difficult – almost impossible. I cried. Ugh. And since apparently my prescription was so vague, my therapist didn’t even know what to do with me (he is going to call the doctor before my next appointment). I mean, I told him what the doctor told me I should be doing, but he obviously needs it straight from him. So there was some testing of my strength and such. At one point he wanted me to bend, but I vetoed that shit. I chalk this up to a wasted appointment. He said my incision was still very swollen and that I should keep using ice – and he put ice on me too. And that was it.

We went to Friendly’s for dinner because I love food five year-olds eat, but I wish it weren’t so populated by kids all the time. I know, I know. But at least have the parental decency to take your screaming babies outside until they calm down. Not only that, but there was an old woman there who was talking at the top of her lungs, despite her companions repeatedly shushing her. I think this may have been the first time I’ve left the house since the surgery – and it was a disaster!

And today I still feel terrible, and all I’ve been doing is laying down and using ice. It’s painful to lay here and painful to get up. Also, though I know they mean well, I’m over people constantly asking me how I’m feeling and doing. STOP IT. It makes me feel worse because I can’t say “great” or “better” right now. I mean, I thought I was doing good yesterday and I guess I overdid it. I’m afraid to even try to walk today. Ugh. I even almost emailed my last job to see if there was any way I could get some of my old responsibilities back, and now I’m glad I held off. I wish I had better news, especially for Mark, who looks at me so eagerly that I just want to die.

I’m going to rest my eyes and catch up on Y&R and the RHoNJ reunion. Tonight is Teen Mom!