biopsy results are in: he only has a few months left

May 17, 2012 | View Comments

(photo taken day before surgery)

May

16

here he is (with 60% of his colon missing)

May 16, 2012 | View Comments

May

15

had biopsy Sunday, headed home tonight

May 15, 2012 | View Comments

May

14

handsome man

May 14, 2012 | View Comments

May

13

happy mama’s day

May 13, 2012 | View Comments

May

12

so, so tired

May 12, 2012 | View Comments

May

12

standing still

May 12, 2012 | View Comments

Let’s see. Where to start?

Kip. We took him for his ultrasound, and they found a cancerous mass. They took cells to look at so they could see what type of cancer we are dealing with. They said they got what they needed, and all the people there said what a good boy Kip was. Well, duh. He’s the sweetest cat in existence. It’s completely ridiculous & unfair that this is happening to him. This type of stuff shouldn’t happen at all, especially not to helpless little animals. The vets (emergency & mobile) said it could be a few different kinds, one obviously better than the next. I made the mistake of looking up feline colon cancer because it said in general that their survival rate is less than a year. I feel broken.

So last night the mobile vet called us to say that they couldn’t tell anything from the cells after all and that a biopsy is now needed. Jesus. I certainly didn’t want to put him through that, but it’s needed because we still don’t know how to proceed with treatment or if we even can proceed. There’s a small chance that the whole mass could be removed, but that won’t be known until he is already in surgery. I’m nervous & crazed right now. The biopsy will obviously take place soon, but we are still gathering more information from both vets before we pick which one we want to perform the procedure. I could throw up, and I actually may from all this crying. Thankfully Kip is healthy in every other way. He’s eating, drinking, playing, and purring like nothing is wrong. I hope he’s not feeling any of this right now, though I know he has discomfort when he uses the litter box. I’m hoping with all my heart that this is the easiest kind of cancer that cats can survive.

I think this is all my fault because I asked the universe to show me a definitive sign about whether or not we should/could move to the maybe new house. And then this happens. The house funds are tight because so much needs done to it to make it look decent & be disability-friendly. Right now bulldozing it down & starting over seems simpler, though not wise financially. That all being said, now we pretty much won’t have the funds to move – but that’s okay because Kip is worth it. We figured a pet emergency might pop up because, well, shit happens when you have ten billion animals running around. That was factored in. But the biopsy is probably another $2000 on top of the already $1500 worth of vet stuff we’ve spent on all of them recently. Speaking of, Lulu is barfing much less now that she’s eating off a flat tray & taking a probiotic daily. Whew! Maybe I’ll win one of those sweepstakes I’ve entered, and that could go towards the house funds. Ha! My mom said I should be able to wait on redoing some things in the maybe new house so that at least I get my ass into that one-story. But this is me we are talking about. I’m a perfectionist! I’d prefer it get all done at once so I can get my crippled self in there and relax. Also, I don’t want to have to worry about other things getting done and all the commotion from that upsetting my furbabies. And I’m sad because I really wanted all my pets to be able to enjoy a screened-in porch at the maybe new house – and now Kip might miss out. Earlier today he was relaxing on one of Spenser’s beds that’s positioned right under an open window. He was simultaneously enjoying both a sun patch & a breeze!

I obviously cancelled today’s Mother’s Day dinner outing. Even though my mom is having her own cancer issues, I’m just unable to pull myself together enough to be sociable & pleasant. And who wants a sobbing chick at their table?

That being said, yesterday I had to get a few things accomplished. I wanted to get my hideous toes done & my hairy mustache waxed so that stupid stuff would be out of the way so I can just focus on Kip. I had to get my spare glasses straightened too because I stepped on them that night I slept on the floor of the exercise/litter box room when I was on poop patrol. And then I saw my pain management doctor. She’s not changing any of my prescriptions, though they aren’t working, because my latest blood work with them showed elevated liver numbers. Well, no shit. I’m on enough medication that’d kill a small village, so it’s no surprise that this is now happening. It was only a matter of time. She sent me to get more blood drawn yesterday since I was already going anyway for my thyroid doctor. If the numbers are still up, I’ll need to see another freaking doctor about that then. Sigh. She also wanted me tested for Lyme Disease while I was there, and she’s asked me to get another MRI for my lower back since the last one I had done was in 2010 after my failed laser spine surgery. And speaking of my back stuff, I had a few decent pain days, thankfully. But yesterday & today the pain has been really high. Stress increases it, so between worrying about Kip & trying to come to terms with the fact that we now most likely won’t be moving, I don’t expect it to get any better. It just figures that after all my period stuff seemed to naturally right itself that my liver decides to take a nosedive. Oh! And I was just at the dentist where everything was fine. Well, now a tooth on the lower right side of my mouth is being super sensitive to hot & cold liquids. WTF. I’m using straws & Sensodyne, and I’m hoping that ends up being enough. All this doctor shit is annoying me, and I want to focus on Kip’s issues, not mine. So, yeah, I got all my errands done so now I can just stare at him all the time. I also put all of my upcoming product reviews on hold too.

Mark is out getting groceries, and he’s going to bring back gelatis & soft pretzels. Oink! He’s been super amazing lately while I’ve obviously been quite a train wreck. Tonight we’re watching episode 3 of Revenge which we’re watching between episodes of Arrested Development. I appreciate the distraction.